Can I vent for a moment?
I know I’m not alone here. You’ve been there too, phone pressed to your ear, staring at the ceiling, tapping your foot to a distorted, looping jazz instrumental that you never asked to listen to. You’ve memorized the repetitive, irritating tune. And then the voice clicks on with that cheerful, absolutely maddening declaration: “Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold.” I have been on hold for 20 minutes. How important could I be?
I recently spent the better part of my morning on hold with a company trying to resolve a billing error. By minute 10, I had reorganized my junk drawer. By minute 15, I began drafting my to-do list. By minute 22, I was humming along to their hold music, an elevator music rendition of a song I couldn’t quite identify but now associate entirely with frustration. When a human voice finally broke through, I practically gasped with relief.
After waiting on hold for what felt like an eternity, the representative informed me I had the wrong department and, don’t say it – I would need to be transferred. We all know what that means. More time on hold. This was the kicker that really sent me over the edge. You want to plead with the actual human that finally answered you, “Please don’t leave me, I have dedicated so much of my time to this process, I can’t hear that annoying hold song again.”
In other cases, the recorded voice on the other end informs me that they will be texting me a link to their website’s chat feature so I could “get help faster.” A link. To a chat. If I wanted to type my problem into a little box and wait for a bot to misunderstand me, I would not have picked up the phone. I called because I wanted to talk to a person. That is the entire point.
Here’s what I think many of us don’t realize: this kind of aggravation isn’t just annoying. It’s actually affecting our health.
The frustration of being trapped on hold, bounced between automated menus, or dismissed with a chatbot is a textbook example of what psychologists call low-level chronic stress, the kind that doesn’t knock us flat like a major crisis, but instead simmers quietly in the background, day after day. And that slow simmer has real consequences. Let’s review a few of them.
It disrupts our mood and mental clarity. Even a single prolonged hold session can spike cortisol levels, the body’s primary stress hormone. When cortisol is repeatedly triggered by small frustrations throughout the day, a delayed response, an indifferent automated system, a problem left unresolved, it keeps our nervous system in a low-grade state of alert. Over time, this contributes to irritability, difficulty concentrating, and general emotional fatigue.
It raises our blood pressure. Studies have shown that perceived helplessness. The feeling of being stuck with no control over a situation is one of the most potent triggers for cardiovascular stress. Being trapped in a phone queue, unable to hang up for fear of losing our place, is a near-perfect recipe for that helpless feeling. Repeated exposure can contribute to elevated blood pressure over time.
It disrupts sleep. Unresolved frustrations have a way of following us to bed. When a customer service issue goes unsettled, our brains have a tendency to keep re-processing it, worrying about next steps. This low-grade mental churn is a known disruptor of restful sleep.
It erodes our sense of trust and connection. Human beings are wired for social contact and responsiveness. When we reach out and are met with indifference, by a machine, a scripted recording, or a representative who clearly cannot help us, and worse yet, has no empathy, it chips away at our sense of being seen and valued. Over time, that erosion can quietly feed into feelings of isolation and cynicism. While companies are saving money using bots and AI, they are losing the connection and trust of their customers. If only they understood that. Or maybe they do and simply don’t care.
It accumulates. Perhaps most importantly, these small stressors don’t disappear, they stack. Researchers refer to this as “stress load,” and the weight of dozens of minor daily frustrations can become just as taxing on the body as one significant stressor.
So the next time you find yourself white knuckling your phone through minute eighteen of hold music, know this: your irritation is valid, your stress is real, and you are absolutely not alone.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I’m next in the queue.
Robin is a former television reporter for NBC News 40. She currently hosts a podcast and radio program called Living Well with Robin Stoloff. It airs Sundays at 10 AM on Lite 96.9. You can email Robin at livingwellwithrobin@gmail.com
