By Bill Quain
As a weekly columnist, I couldn’t ignore the biggest sporting event in the world – the Summer Olympics. And while the games in Paris are impressive, I’d rather stick closer to home. We have events here at the Jersey Shore that draw competitors from as far away as Pittsburgh, and we are just as intense as any world federation competition.
Shore Olympics: Not the usual events
I’ve been watching the Summer Olympics in Paris. You would think there is only one sport – gymnastics! Of course, you have to admire Simone Biles. One commentator reported that she leaps 12 feet off the ground during (ironically) her floor routine. And you have to love the “Clark Kent” gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik, who kept the American men’s hopes alive and delivered the bronze medal. But it seems like gymnastics took up the entire first week. I’m ready for some variety, like that “cool as a cucumber” shooter from Turkey, Yusuf Dikec.
And variety is exactly what we have at the shore. Here’s a rundown of some of my favorite local events.
It’s parallel parking, not parallel bars
We live on Fifth Street in Ocean City, which gives us front-row seats for this exciting event. According to the judges, not many drivers even qualified this year.
It’s really a two-stage process. First, you have to find one of the few (and highly coveted) open spaces. Extra points are awarded if you find one without a parking meter. Techniques vary, with most drivers backing in, and the occasional “head-first” approach. Only the best make it in the allotted number of attempts. And many bring along coaches who get out of the car and shout instructions. “Turn the wheel the other way” is frequently heard. Of course, the person giving the directions has never even parked a car diagonally.
This year, many contestants were disqualified because they used satellite systems with multiple cameras to guide the car in. This foul is called “using steer-oids.” One contestant was sent home in shame when it was discovered that he had a “self-parking” car.
Gulls versus Hawks: Old rivalries continue.
One of the most exciting sports is really for the birds! Contestants are dead serious in this event. The Gulls have the numbers, and the Hawks have the Gulls’ number. Many thanks to the hundreds of volunteers who walked the boards carrying paper containers of curly fries, which really got the action going. This is a sport where fans are always involved. Scoring is difficult because the judges have a tough time spotting the Hawks, and the Gulls are only on the field when the coast is clear. This is not usually a “contact sport.” But it’s just a matter of time…
Pizza toss: Go for the dough!
Tickets were scarce this season, as many fans stood in long lines just trying to get a quick look at their favorite champions. Unfortunately, due to shrinkflation, some of the pizzas seemed smaller. But fans still gladly paid the price. Scoring is based on height and bite. Judges took their time, and announcements were delayed because no one wanted to announce a score with their mouth full.
Bucket races: Wear hats – Carry pails
Bucket races have been around for over a century at the shore. For 2024, bucket hats are a new addition. Entire families have been decked out in the stylish chapeaux.
The rules are simple. Split into two groups. Dig two holes in the sand, at a distance of 40 feet from the ocean. Each team sends off a runner who fills their bucket from the ocean, carries it back to the hole, dumps the water into the hole, and hands the bucket to the next person. The first team to complete the process wins.
While betting on the race is outlawed, throwing your pail of water on the opponents is allowed. The losers have to give their bucket hats to the winners.
Surrey racing with feats of strength
Surrey racing on the Boardwalk is another team sport. A teenager from the rental shop performs “feats of strength” when he pushes a 9-person surrey up the Boardwalk ramp – sometimes with grandma in the surrey. Racing Teams need to have at least one crying kid who wants to stop every 15 feet for donuts, and one elderly aunt who can’t remember how to pedal. Many teams make frequent stops to take pictures – usually in the middle of the bike lane.
Shore shot put – It’s doubles time
In Paris, the American men captured silver and gold in the shot put. But that was for the single shot. In Ocean City and Somers Point, we feature the Double Shot. The competition is always held on Wednesdays. Contestants first go to Playland on the Boardwalk and ride the Double Shot twice. They then head across the bridge to Passion Vines Liquors for the Whiskey Wednesday Finals. This summer, bourbon was the winner.
Paris has skeet. We have skee.
Americans shot their way to gold and silver medals in skeet this week, but the action is still wide open here at the Skee-Ball games. Both sports require that participants wear earplugs to deaden the noise. Skeet shooting has loud “reports” from the guns. Skee-Ball has the incessant noise of the Skee-Balls clunking together, followed by ringing bells, (and the occasional cry when a ball is dropped on a foot.) Skeet shooting requires many shotgun shells. Skee-Ball requires a pocketful of dimes.
What’s your favorite shore Olympics event?
Okay, it’s your turn. What’s your favorite event in Paris or here at the shore? “Shoot” me an email at bill@quain.com. As I say each week, “I’ll see ya’ in the papers!”
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
