Navigating as Newlyweds on the Frontline

By Erica Hoffman

Our society is downright enchanted with falling in love, walking down the aisle, and (thanks to Beyonce) putting a ring on it. This picturesque, and perhaps impractical “til death do us part’ game is strong. But what we don’t talk about as much is what “happily ever after” really looks like.

Even for couples who have been together for years, shared a home, and maybe even had a couple of great kids—putting a ring on it comes with a whole new set of joys as well as challenges. This rings especially true for two friends of mine, who, after five years together, a beautiful home and two incredibly charming children, got married on February 28th, 2020. Just two short weeks before the world shut down.

None of us knew we should have been savoring every second of seeing each other smile because, unbeknownst to us, it would be one the last time we interacted with people with no hesitation of harm. We were blissfully unaware that we should have treasured being around our loved ones just a bit more. Like everyone else, we were all completely oblivious. We should have been savoring feeling joy without any cloud of worry hovering over us. None of us knew what was coming.

Now, almost a year to the day from that beautiful soirée, I was quite curious as to how this unprecedented first year of marriage during a global pandemic turned out. I should also mention that the bride, Christina, is an ICU nurse at Virtua Hospital in Voorhees, while the groom, Ricky is the Sales Manager at his family’s business Post to Post in Egg Harbor Township.

If you’re anything like me, you’re wondering what does the first year of marriage look like when you are on the frontline putting your life at risk every day for the sake of others while still making sure you are caring for yourself and your family as best as you possibly can.’ So, I went searching for my answers.

Days before their first anniversary, I spoke to the newlyweds to get some insight into how their extremely unconventional first year of marriage was going.

Does it feel like a year since the wedding?

Christina: It feels like it’s been one hundred years to me. It’s been a year of chaos, and I didn’t think it would ever end. When I look at our wedding pictures and watch our video, it feels like forever ago.

Ricky: It feels like we’ve been married longer than a year, but it’s crazy to see how quickly time flew by given the pandemic.

Does anything feel different now that you are married?

Christina: It doesn’t feel any different for me. We had kids before getting married, so there haven’t been many life-altering events since our wedding, oh except for the global pandemic that turned our lives upside down!

Ricky: It feels the same because we were settled in our home with our boys before being married. Not much in our day-to-day life has changed, but little things like being able to call her my wife still feel surreal.

How in the world do you juggle being full-time parents, one a frontline worker, and one an integral part of the family business while also keeping your newlywed vibe alive?

Christina: I’d love to pretend that we’ve got it all together, but that would be a lie. Ricky has been the one to keep us all going. Luckily, we’ve been able to have some socially distanced date nights and the very frequent Netflix and wine on the couch.

Ricky: I try to make it easier for Christina. She’s on the frontlines of the pandemic caring for COVID patients. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t enough time in the day. Some days you go with the flow, and other days, you roll with the punches and tackle one obstacle at a time. We also try to have some Mommy and Daddy time to keep our sanity.

How are you both coping with Christina being on the frontlines in the ICU?

Christina: It is physically and mentally draining. I worry every day that I am putting my and my family’s lives at risk just by going to work. I am grateful for my ICU family, who show so much compassion and resilience every day. I work directly with COVID patients in the ICU and have seen a lot of heartbreaking things. However, I’m honored to help my patients during some of the most challenging moments of their lives.

Ricky: It’s stressful. I worry about Christina and our family nonstop. I’m constantly concerned with what she has to deal with daily regarding COVID being an ICU nurse. I am lucky enough to have a job and continue working from home. The time I spend with my two best buds is priceless but completing all my work at home is a challenge.

What typical first year of marriage plans or experiences do you feel you’ve missed?

Christina: The biggest thing for me was missing our honeymoon to Greece and going on dates. I want to go to the movies with my new husband!

Ricky: It’s the honeymoon for me, too. It would have been my first time out of the country, and I was looking forward to some alone time as newlyweds.

And lastly, how are you planning to celebrate your first anniversary?

We’re going to paint our bedroom and get takeout! The kids are spending the night with their Grandmom.

Well Christina and Ricky, congratulations on making it through your first year of marriage. The way you handle whatever is thrown at you guys is something I admire greatly. If I marry someone who loves me half as much as you guys love and care about each other, I will consider myself a fortunate woman.

Here’s to many more years of unconditional love and watching your handsome boys turn into the gentleman I know you guys will raise them to be.

Erica Hoffman was born in Atlantic City and is proud to be writing for Shore Local. She lives in South Jersey and enjoys finding and sharing the lighter side of life.