Mom’s Vibe
By Krystle J. Bailey
Dear Shore Local Moms:
When I was asked to write this Mom’s Vibe column, I couldn’t help but feel a little Carrie Bradshaw-esque. I’ve written countless articles about current events and people doing amazing things in our area but to have a column that I could speak directly to women just like myself felt like a gift. I wanted it to be personal. I wanted to connect with you as the reader, even though we may have never met.
If you read this column regularly, you may notice that I write a lot about taking care of ourselves as mothers, more so than I write about the kids. Though, I do include them as well. That’s because mothers hold it all together. We keep our own personal worlds spinning on their axes and our personal moons in orbit. Sometimes in doing that, it feels exhausting, overwhelming, and often, lonely. Each week when I search for something to write about, I ask myself, “how can I make just one other mom feel less alone through my words?”
Then, I write from the heart.
Something that has been heavy on my mind is the fact that we are closing in on one year of living in a “Covid world.” I remember the day vividly when it seemed like the sky started falling. Friday, March 13th. Schools started closing, the NBA canceled the rest of its season, jobs began announcing work-from-home protocols, and it felt like the world around us was crumbling.
“14 days to slow the spread.” That’s what they told us in the beginning. So, I thought “ok, cool. Two weeks to stay home with my family and bond.” I picked up some wine, junk food, more Legos than my kids could handle, and settled in for a two-week quarantine.
We all know how that went.
Here we are, one year later and I’ve personally put on 25 pounds, as two weeks became two months and the junk food continued to flow. In the beginning, I spent time organizing cabinets that are now a mess again. With every passing month, I’d declare that I’d start changing some habits and use my time wisely. I’d complete unfinished projects and declutter my home, start a new workout routine and learn something new.
Most of those things have not come to fruition and I say this all to say that, nobody prepared us for how to handle times like these, and therefore, there was no “right” or “wrong” way to navigate a world-wide pandemic. I have some friends who spent the time getting back into shape or went back to online school to finish their degree. I have friends who picked up new hobbies and others who barely survived. I know so many people who lost loved ones and have spent the last year grieving. Countless people struggled with addiction, depression, and anxiety. People have lost businesses, careers, and their savings.
I remember there was a quote floating around the internet in the early days saying something along the lines of, “If this time doesn’t bring you a new skill, a side hustle, or knowledge, you just lack discipline.” That quote would frustrate me endlessly. Why are we so ingrained to have to produce even in the midst of global chaos? There was a counter-quote that basically said, “If this time doesn’t bring you any of these things, you’re probably human and should be proud of just making it through a time like this.”
The reality is, we all cope with trauma differently and no matter how you cut it, this has been a traumatic year. For some, worse than others. However you dealt with a global pandemic uprooting your entire life, I want to tell you that YOU were right. You handled this last year in the best way that YOU knew how and that is more than enough. Don’t let the internet tell you otherwise.
We are more disconnected than ever while simultaneously, spending more time on social media than ever. Social media will have you believe that you aren’t enough in the blink of an eye. It’s a lie. Maybe you were someone who learned a new skill or started a side hustle, I truly honor and celebrate you! However, if you didn’t. If you just survived, that’s beautiful in itself. Coming out on the other side of this still holding onto our health and our sanity, even if by a thread, is to be just as celebrated.
So today, I celebrate you! To each and every person reading this, no matter how you navigated this past year, no matter how ugly it got or what kind of rollercoaster ride it was, you survived this past year the best way you knew how. You deserve to be honored for that. You’re here. Be here.
I’ll end with a concept I heard recently on A Million Little Things. The character Maggie is learning to live a whole new life and she is reminded to keep her mind where her body resides. That stuck with me and is something I’ve been reminding myself of when my mind starts to run away: Slow down, take a breath, and bring your mind back to where your body resides. It’s all going to be okay.
Until next time, Krystle
