By Estefania Bonavera
Our disconnection from our bodies can be traced back for generations in our families to now, as we are in a society filled with body shaming. Many of us have experienced a friend or family member innocently say: “Wow! You look great, you lost weight!” Comments like this linger in our heads and can add to our anxiety around the subject. Our daily routines and the stress that comes with them can disconnect us from our bodies as well. Unfortunately, we have learned not to trust our bodies and even treat them with hurtful and shameful energy. Your body is you, as your mind is, and it is the vehicle that does so many things for you. It is reading this article, for example, and it has carried you throughout your life. It accompanies you on a hike or while embracing a loved one. It allows you to smile and cry, while also helping you heal.
You would never say mean things about your best friend’s body, yet you do to yourself. Like many people, I used to body shame myself, whether it was cellulite, my breasts or my tummy. Sometimes I find myself shaming it still, but I catch it right in time and practice mindful body healing.
The summer season can be particularly triggering —especially for those of us who have suffered from trauma. It is important to bring this to consciousness because being mindful of our bodies makes us feel whole. Our bodies watch how we treat them and listen to how we talk to them. Body healing is a practice that can be learned by taking small steps to connect with our bodies every day.
What are some ways in which we can connect to our bodies and send love their way?
Sit still and take some time to listen to your body. Traditional meditation can be great, but it is not required at all. Instead, you can sit in silence with your favorite tea, placing your palms on your heart and connecting with your body while asking yourself: “How do I feel today?” This will create space for your feelings to come up and allow you to be more mindful of all your parts. Keeping a journal to write a few lines can also help you process these emotions.
You can try a traditional meditation once you feel ready and connected to this practice. This can look like sitting for two to five minutes in the beginning. You can also try Dynamic Meditation (my favorite!) which allows your body to recreate different emotions. It is energy work that needs to be done in movement, hence its name. Acting out each emotion will allow you to connect with your body deeply. It will help ground you and release what needs to be let go of. You can choose to either sit down or stand, which is the way I usually prefer. I create a playlist that lasts at least 20 to 30 minutes and includes a couple of songs for each emotion. You can start with joy, then jump into anger and sadness, and finish up with some joyful music if you would like.
Taking breaks to do some deep breathing throughout the day is one of the best things you can gift yourself. Our breath shortens when we are busy, and some short exercises can help remind you to connect your mind and body. You can also give yourself a hug and see how this feels in your body while taking deep belly breaths.
Move your body! Whether this is going for a walk with your dog or running, or stretching, it will help you better connect to yourself, mind and body. Give a new perspective to exercise and relate it to whatever feels good in your body, not what society expects of you. This has helped me immensely in my healing journey and rewired my brain toward what feels good in my own body. It can be a 5-minute yoga sequence online or just walking to the grocery store.
Create your mantra/affirmation. Think about something that resonates with you and begin with “I am”. You can come back to it any time and use it while doing yoga or in between exercises at the gym for example. Some of my favorites are “I am here, I am safe, I am strong, and I am enough.”
For every negative thought you have, combat that message by saying a nice thing about you. It can feel forced in the beginning, but you will soon realize your self-talk is becoming more positive.
Once you connect to your body’s needs, you will understand them better and feel more grounded and aligned. This will enable you to access your own healing powers and feel like your mind, emotions, body, and spirit are all on the same wavelength. Our energy flows better when we learn to identify our bodies’ needs. Your body will send important signals on how certain people and places make you feel, which will help create some safety around you. It will help you know when you need rest or whether you need to hydrate yourself, for example. Most of all, connecting to our body and identifying its needs helps us connect with our highest self and with our purpose. These small action steps can help you start giving your body the love it deserves.
Estefania Bonavera is a Licensed Psychologist at Brownstone Center for Wellness and has ten years of experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.
