By Courtney McLaughlin,
LCSW, CDP
Retirement is supposed to be fun. We look forward to these “golden years” for much of our adult lives: planning the hobbies we’ll take up, the traveling we’ll do, the company we’ll keep. And yet for some of us, this isn’t what we pictured. Our bodies hurt, our minds are scattered, and our plates are still full, but not with the soul-nourishing things we’d hoped. Our reality just isn’t living up to our expectations and we’re feeling low.
This is the other side of the work/life balance coin. Up to now, we’ve spent the majority of our time working and wishing we had more free time. Now that we do, we may not know what to do with it. For those of us who have defined ourselves by our work for many years, we may not know who we are anymore. Some of us have lost touch with or outright lost people we hoped to share this time with, contributing to feelings of grief or isolation. For those of us in the “sandwich generation” who are caretaking our parents and supporting our children or helping out with our grandchildren, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or worn down. Combine all of that with the normal changes in our bodies and minds – the aches and pains, decreased energy levels, occasional forgetfulness – and it’s easy to jump to all the worst conclusions about what our aging is going to look like. Our golden years start to lose their shine.
In America, one in six adults over 50 experience a diagnosable mental health condition. That means odds are good that at least one member of your family, your friend group, a casual acquaintance, or you yourself are experiencing enough feelings of sadness, worry, grief, guilt, or other emotions to affect your daily life. Even those without a mental health condition are recognizing that things could be better; a staggering 47.4% of adults in this age group receive some kind of mental health treatment, whether in the form of medication or counseling.
Whether we are struggling or simply acknowledging that we’d like to feel better, there’s hope! Just as lifestyle changes like eating well, drinking more water, getting more sleep, and getting regular exercise can assist with managing our physical health, taking steps to implement healthy changes in our daily routines and social and emotional life can significantly improve our mood and functioning.
If you’re feeling forgetful or losing things often, try establishing routines such as writing on a list or calendar and keeping important items in a consistent place every day. If you’re overwhelmed with the stress of taking care of your parents, children, and grandchildren, try setting aside some time – whether an hour or a day each week – that’s just for you. You might also consider joining a caregiver support group to find friends going through similar challenges. If you’re feeling listless or lonely, try connecting with a new hobby or group activity. Check out your local library, craft or home improvement store, or restaurant lounge for events that increase the odds you’ll meet others with similar interests and passions. Look for opportunities to reconnect with old friends and relatives, such as on social media. Practice gratitude for the people, places, things, and events that bring joy into your life. Implementing even one small change in our routine can have a positive impact on our state of mind.
If you or someone close to you is unsure where to start or is in need of more support, reach out for help. Contact your health insurance to find a list of providers in your area. Call your local counseling center and take the first step. Reach out to the New Jersey Institute for Successful Aging to explore support resources and learn more about managing physical and mental health. Health and healing are possible, so don’t let fear or stigma stop you or someone you love from living the best life possible.
Courtney McLaughlin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Dementia Practitioner at Brownstone Center for Wellness, a mental health counseling practice that recently opened in Northfield. Her extensive clinical experience in the fields of mental health, traumatic brain injury, and senior care have been invaluable in serving patients of all ages as they improve their mental health. Courtney can be reached at CourtneyM@brownstonewellnesscenter.net or 609-833-1644. Brownstonewellnesscenter.net
