Letter from the editor
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” or so the song goes. But let’s be honest—for many of us, the holidays can feel less like a cheerful carol and more like a chaotic drum solo. Between the endless to-do lists, awkward family dynamics and trying to remember where you hid that “perfect” gift, it’s easy to wonder: Where’s the joy?
For those grieving loved ones, separated from family or overwhelmed by life’s pressures, this time of year can be especially challenging. It doesn’t help that we’re bombarded with images of ideal holiday scenes on TV and social media—like everyone else’s holiday is picture-perfect. When reality doesn’t align with our glossy expectations, disappointment can sneak in fast.
They say comparison is the thief of joy, but I’d argue that expectations are a greater threat. Take it from someone who knows. Raising a child with autism during the 1990s—when public awareness was as sparse as a Charlie Brown Christmas tree—meant navigating a holiday minefield of unmet expectations. I imagined gleeful reactions to gifts and harmonious family gatherings. Instead, my son showed little interest in unwrapping presents and was easily overwhelmed at holiday parties.
It took years to realize that my son’s unique way of experiencing the world wasn’t a problem to solve but a perspective to embrace. Along the way, I also learned to let go of perfect holiday expectations for my neurotypical children as well. Whether it was an embarrassing tantrum or a blunt response to a not-so-perfect gift, I began to understand: the holidays are about connection, not perfection.
Of course, even surrounded by loved ones, December can feel like a marathon where the finish line keeps moving. Financial pressures, endless social obligations and the quest for Facebook worthy moments can leave anyone wondering why we don’t just hibernate like bears.
So, how do we reclaim the joy? Over the years, I’ve learned a few tricks to keep the holiday spirit alive—and no, they don’t involve spiking the eggnog (though I’m not judging). Here’s what works for me:
- Embrace simplicity
Who needs a grand light display when a quiet evening by the fire will do? Bake some cookies, watch a cheesy holiday movie and savor the little moments—burnt edges and all.
- Prioritize connection
Remember: no gift beats quality time. Whether it’s sharing a laugh over hot cocoa or trading stories from the past year, these moments outshine anything you can wrap in a bow.
- Mindful gift giving
Forget the glittering store displays; the best gifts come from the heart. A handwritten note or a meaningful gesture can be worth more than the latest gadget.
- Set realistic expectations
Crooked trees? Lopsided gingerbread houses? Bring ‘em on! Those quirks make the season memorable. Perfection is overrated—just ask Rudolph.
- Practice self-care
Carve out some “me time.” Take a walk, sip tea, or dive into a good book. Because let’s face it: you can’t pour from an empty mug.
- Cultivate gratitude
It’s easy to focus on what’s missing, but gratitude has a way of shifting the narrative. Start small: be thankful for warm socks, a kind word or the neighbor’s Christmas lights that make your yard look festive by association.
- Acknowledge all feelings
Sometimes, the holidays bring up feelings of loss or loneliness. It’s okay to feel sad—in fact, it’s human. Emotions are like holiday guests: they’ll eventually leave if you let them hang out for a while.
Joy isn’t some elusive reindeer we’re chasing; it’s a choice we make, a practice we cultivate. It’s found in the imperfect moments—in laughter over burnt cookies, in the beauty of a mismatched ornament and in the quiet gratitude for what we have.
So, this holiday season, let’s trade the pressure for presence and the stress for simplicity. May your days be merry, your tree slightly crooked and your heart full of joy.
Peace & Love,
Cindy
