By Bill Quain
This is the fourth column in a multi-week series based on my upcoming book, “Bankrupt U – Students, Parents and Alumni Are Going Broke, & Colleges Don’t Give a C.R.A.P.” In “Bankrupt U”, my co-author Joe Corabi and I give our readers an insider view of how colleges work. We show students how to get the most from their college experience while paying the least amount of money. And we give them information on making money – information that the colleges didn’t bother to teach them.
This week, we’ll talk about how parents and students focus on getting a student into college, while not focusing on what will happen when they get out of college. This is the most expensive college mistake that parents and students will ever make, and it can cost them thousands of dollars.
College Acceptance: Competing With Everyone Else
Colleges flourish because they market themselves as a “scarce” product. Wondering what we mean? Check out a Taylor Swift concert. Yes, that’s right, Taylor Swift! Getting a ticket to her concert is almost impossible. First, you have to be able to afford the tickets. Then you need to be sitting at your computer, credit card in hand, fingers limbered up, ready to strike at the exact second the tickets go on sale. Successful Taylor Swift ticket buyers must beat out all the slower ticket buyers to get one of those oh-so-limited seats. And those who don’t get the tickets directly will pay more on the “secondary” market.
My Kid is Better Than Yours
Like Taylor Swift concerts, the colleges are operating on scarcity – especially at the elite institutions. There are only so many seats, and so much merit money to go around. If you aren’t a top candidate, you may not get in at all. If you do manage to get in, you are going to pay more.
So parents start the process early, telling their kids to join school activities, take a leadership role, volunteer, take AP classes, become an athlete, play an instrument, study for the SATs, etc. And it isn’t enough to be good or great. If you want those scarce seats, (college or concert), you have to be more than just great. You need to be better! Better than the other kids who also want those seats and scholarships.
That’s the game. Since colleges convince you that it is the game, parents and students focus on getting in and largely ignore getting out. And once in school, the emphasis is on being successful in college, with almost no focus on how to live a successful life after college.
Teach Kids to Compete for Life
When you were raising your child, you did everything you could to make him or her look good to the colleges so the colleges would admit them and give them scholarships.
Okay, good job – but don’t stop there. You need to be in constant communication with your child about what is going to make them look good to people who are going to pay them money after they graduate! You also want your kid to look good to someone who is going to have a relationship with them. That’s the key experience. That’s life! Life goes by very quickly if you are enjoying prosperity and love, and very slowly if you don’t have these things.
It’s About Money, Sunny and Honey
Check out my column from Dec. 14, 2023, where I talk about the only three things you need to get right in life: “Money, Honey and Sunny”. College is a great time to learn to compete for these three things. But, unlike getting into college, you aren’t competing against everyone else. In life, you are competing against yourself.
As a college professor, I can tell you that no college is going to teach your kid this. There is no “Money, Sunny and Honey” major. However, there is a partnership that will make all the difference. It is the parent-child relationship, and it is the greatest gift you can give your kid. Even better and longer lasting than concert tickets!
Your Kid Is Always Your Kid
Yes, you want your kid to grow up and take personal responsibility. But unless you are willing to give your 18-year-old a $250,000 car, and say “good luck,” then you shouldn’t give them a key to a college dorm room, and say “Good luck in college, see you in four years.” Remember, those professors and college administrators may seem nice, but every one of them is just doing a job. And they are doing that job to get paid, not to raise your child.
The Professors Who Pay You Back
My co-author Joe Corabi and I founded The Professors Who Pay You Back as a way of giving back to all the students, parents and alumni who have paid our salaries all these years. You can learn more about us and “Bankrupt U” on our website: www.theprofessorswhopayyouback.com. Check it out!
As always, I love to hear from my readers. Drop me an email to bill@quain.com. And as I say each week, I’ll see ya in the papers!
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
