‘The Potluck Gang’ will help you make the most of your family reunion
Life is What Happens
By Lisa Zaslow Segelman
“Happiness is a large, close knit-family in another city,” reads my refrigerator magnet.
It wasn’t always that way. When my parents were growing up in the 1930s and ’40s in Philadelphia, their parents, aunts, uncles and cousins all lived near each other. They were happy (or unhappy) with everyone at close range.
Children of immigrants, their parents would have meetings of extended family where they would share plans and more often than not, resources in pursuit of the American dream. Because they saw each other all the time, there was no need for family reunions.
These days thanks to ease of travel, and more recently, technology such as FaceTime and Zoom, people are more comfortable than ever with long-distance family life.
My husband and I are not unique with loved ones residing all over the place: New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Michigan, and a first cousin and his family in Japan. Now getting together with family takes a lot of advance planning.
If you have a house at the shore, having the reunion at your house is bound to “sound like a great idea” to almost everyone. With sand and sea, beach and bay, a shore reunion has built-in activities, relief from heat, and photo opportunities galore.
I called our shore reunion this year “Zaslow Family Fun Day.” Our slogan is, “We’re Zaslows, of course we’re having a family fun day!” Families have so many happy and sad occasions that it’s great to get together without the stress of a special event.
Most of my family made our reunion a day trip, but when I wasn’t sure how many overnight guests we were going to have, I told my two nephews in the military that they might have to sleep on the deck.
“Do I need to bring my tent?” asked my nephew a few days before the reunion. The answer was, “Negative, at ease soldier!” He ended up with his own bed in his own bedroom.
This year I was intent on creating a model that can be used year after year, with whatever tweaks necessary.
I started with an e-vite and made it a potluck event. When everyone lends a hand, especially with a group that numbered upwards of 30 people, it makes it more manageable for the hosts. Our family covered brunch and beach snacks, another branch of the family wine and hard seltzers, and a third a deli dinner.
One hot tip is to stake your claim early on the beach, even if you’re not going to be there right away. On the morning of the fun day I grabbed my military men/nephews at 0900 hours. We headed for the beach with the Jeep loaded up with beach gear. We pitched our CoolCabana, dug beach umbrellas in deep, set up a 6-foot table for snacks and added beach chairs, towels and toys.
Back at the house the itinerary started with brunch. The party relocated to the beach, then pickleball, a walk over the Dorset Avenue Bridge for afternoon ice cream, then dinner, and a late night at the patio fire pit. For us it was one day and done.
Later that week I happened upon my neighbor Cathy Collins Winters family reunion in full swing.
In a flash I hopped off my bike and volunteered to take the family reunion photo of Cathy’s side of the family. There were over 30 of them and they were all wearing T-shirts that Read, “It’s a Collins Thing.”
“Our reunion is a weekend event,” said Cathy who lives on the bay in Ventnor. “The older folks rented Airbnbs to keep their distance from the chaos, and the rest of us make it work at the house,” she said. “We pitched two tents in the backyard and the little ones were more than happy out there.”
Collins family members, mostly from Delaware, started arriving on the Friday night; that kicked off the reunion.
“The beach and our deck on the bay is the main attraction, as well as our annual cornhole tournament that takes place in our garage,” she said.
The Collins Cornhole Tournament produces big winners and big losers.
“Everyone loves competing, especially during this Olympic summer,” added Cathy.
The garage competition generates so much excitement that Cathy’s parents bought a giant trophy that has space to add a small brass plaque with the winners’ names year to year.
Our own editor, Shore Local’s Cindy Fertsch, is gearing up for her family reunion which will be held later this month, even though it’s the height of the shore season.
“We couldn’t be busier in the summer between publishing weekly and the activities of our Heart of Surfing nonprofit organization,” said Cindy. “But our family reunion gives my mom the chance to see her kids and grandkids, some of whom live hundreds of miles away.”
Cindy plans to host a barbecue and pool party for 35, complete with backyard games including cornhole, which seems to be competing with pickleball in popularity. The Collins family can attest to that.
“I’m choosing to hire some help to take over the grill and bartending,” said Cindy. “I want to be able to talk to people, have some fun and make memories, not just hot dogs.”
Family reunions offer people who don’t see each other often the chance to reconnect, reminisce and even relive childhood memories at the shore. For hosts, the family reunion is often just one event during a summer of day and weekend guests, presenting a challenge of time, energy and expense.
My kids tell me to simplify, even though my nature is to “complify” – their made-up word for how I do things.
This year I took my kids’ advice, and I’m glad I did. And I’m not alone. Like me, Cathy of the Collins clan and our fearless editor Cindy of the Fertsch family join us Zaslows in trying out a reunion model that will work well every year, even if some of the foods or activities are the same.
We agreed that no two ocean waves or grains of sand are exactly alike, so that alone should keep our families entertained.
I told my potluck gang to be prepared to do and make whatever they did this year and all we’ll have to do for next year is pick a date.
Sending lots of love to your families, wherever they are!
If you have family reunion photos or stories from this summer, send them to redshoeslzs@gmail.com and we’ll feature your large, close-knit family here in Coast-Host-Post.
Lisa is an advertising copywriter (think ‘Madmen’ without the men), journalist and columnist. Claim to fame: Lou’s waitress for four teenage summers. For column comments, story ideas, or to get on her “quote” list for future columns: redshoeslzs@gmail.com
