By Bill Quain
Jeanne and I just got back from my 50th college reunion at Cornell University. It was a wonderful weekend, except for one thing: Who invited all those old people? Of course, my classmates were thinking the same thing about me.
Where did those 50 years go?
As my classmates and I reminisced about days gone by, many of us were surprised at how some things that were important to us when we were in school really didn’t matter in the long run. And other things that happened became the most important events of our lives. I’d like to share a few of those things with you because I think they will bring a smile to your face, and maybe give you a moment of pause.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
Here are a couple of examples of things that really didn’t matter after all. I was not a very good student as an undergraduate. However, in my junior year, I managed to get a “B” in an advanced accounting class. Once the grades came out, a group of classmates and I went down to a local bar to celebrate the end of the semester. I saw one girl who looked very upset, and I asked her why she was so sad. She said, “I’m so angry! I got a B in accounting class.”
I replied, “We must have different perspectives. I’m happy because I got a B in accounting!”
She then said, “You don’t understand Bill. This is my very first B.” She had received an A in every other class up till then.
My reply? “No, you don’t understand. This is my very first B too!”
I learned a valuable lesson as an undergraduate. Once you’re out of school, nobody cares what you got for a grade. In the many years since I graduated, I’ve only had one prospective employer ask me what my GPA was. I looked that guy straight in the eye and said, “I was a top student!”
His reply? “So, you were a C student?” He hired me. He liked my style and optimism!
Use your first 25 years wisely.
Confession time: I was on academic probation at Cornell. One semester, I got a 1.79 GPA. For those of you who don’t know if that is good or bad – it is really bad! I got a terrifying letter from Dean Robert Beck of the Hotel School. He suggested that I try another major or another university – anything, rather than staying at Cornell. He was very disappointed in me.
Being the type of guy I am, I framed that letter and hung it on the wall of my room. I still have that letter! It is on the wall of my office at Stockton University. Whenever a student says to me, “Dr. Quain, I have to get an A in this class,” I show them the letter.
Then I say, “No, you don’t. You have to graduate from school, but you don’t have to have a certain grade in any of your classes.”
I eventually went on to get a Master’s degree and a Ph.D. And 25 years after I received my letter from the Dean, I was asked to be the Master of Ceremonies at a high-level weekend event for the Cornell Hotel Society. We had alumni flying in from around the world. It was a big deal. Dean Beck had retired, but he was invited back to be an honored guest at the event. The Dean apparently thought I’d done a great job at the event and later sent me a handwritten thank you letter.
The Cornell Hotel Society repeated that event five years later, and I was once again asked to serve as the Master of Ceremonies. And there in the audience was Dean Beck, enjoying the event. I knew he would be in attendance, so I brought something along to show him. It turned out to be the highlight of the event for me. At the Saturday night closing dinner, I brought both the “maybe you should consider another school …” letter, along with his glowing handwritten letter of thanks. Everyone had a good laugh. It proved to be a great lesson as well. If you fail at something, get your act together! No one will remember your past mistakes as long as you turn things around and step up your game.
Wow, who is that beautiful girl?
Now that was something that mattered! In early October 1973, 51 years ago this fall, my fraternity was planning a party. We wanted to invite some girls. My roommate John Williams (who I saw at the reunion last week) called a nearby college, where he knew a girl from his hometown. He told her about the plans and said, “Come to the party and bring girls.” She did bring several girls, but there was one that I really remember.
Why do I remember her so well? Because last weekend, she drove up from Ocean City with me to go to my reunion. It was my wife, Jeanne, of course! That chance encounter became one of the most important events of my life. We dated off and on for a few years, but eventually things worked out. On June 30, we will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. I got a lot of great things from Cornell, but Jeanne was the best!
Life teaches you what’s most important.
Now, maybe it hasn’t been 50 years since you graduated, but I’ll bet you’ve already learned that life teaches you what’s most important. So, no matter how long it’s been since you had your last formal lesson, what has life taught you? How about sharing it with us? We’d love to hear it. As always, just shoot me an email at bill@quain.com. And as I say each week, “I’ll see ya in the papers!”
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
