By Bill Quain
In last week’s column, I announced that I would be writing a multi-week series based on my upcoming book, “Bankrupt U – Students, Parents and Alumni Are Going Broke, & Colleges Don’t Give a C.R.A.P.”
My co-author, Joe Corabi, and I have each been college professors for more than 40 years. As such, we seek to give our readers an insiders’ view of how colleges are big businesses.
We want prospective and current students to get the most from their college experience, while paying the least amount of money possible. And we give them information on making money – information that colleges don’t bother to teach their students.
To kick things off, I want to first explain what a “C.R.A.P.” is and why American colleges “Don’t Give a C.R.A.P.”
“C.R.A.P.” is an acronym for Creating Richer Alumni Playbook. It’s what every student should get while they are still in college, and what every college should continue to give its alumni after they graduate. But no American college we know about does anything to guide their students into a more prosperous life after graduation. And certainly, none of them give their students a playbook.
What Does a Playbook Look Like?
A playbook is a tool used by coaches and players on a sports team. Usually, it is a three-ring binder filled with… well… plays. Each playbook is created for a specific sport, and all of the plays in that book work. The real power behind the playbook is that each of those plays is designed for a specific situation.
While the team learns each play and practices it relentlessly, the coach is the one who chooses which plays to run throughout the game.
Let’s take a football playbook, for example. The players have practiced all of their plays to prepare for the big game. The coach stands on the sideline with a list of the plays from the playbook. This list is called the “play sheet.” The plays on the play sheet are divided into categories, such as “First Down” plays and “Short Yardage” plays. When it’s time to run a play, the coach calls in the name of the play, and the team responds.
See an Opportunity? Call an ‘Audible’
In real life and in a football game, situations change. Suppose the coach has sent in a running play, but at the last minute, the quarterback notices that a defensive player is looking the wrong way. The quarterback can quickly call an audible (a change in the play) that sends the receiver down the field, wide open. The pass is complete, and the audible results in a game-winning touchdown.
Was that audible made up on the spot? No. It was a play in the playbook, and the team had practiced it all season. The quarterback used it to take advantage of an opportunity.
$100,000+ Should Buy You a Playbook
When you pay $100,000 and give up four years of your life, your college should give a C.R.A.P. Each student should receive a Creating Richer Alumni Playbook, full of winning plays that will generate personal prosperity after graduation. And each alum should be able to use that playbook, calling audibles from it when situations change, and opportunities arise.
But no American college is doing this. It just doesn’t happen. Why? Because colleges aren’t thinking about their students’ prosperity. Instead, they concentrate on getting as much money as they can from every student that enrolls, because the colleges, as big businesses, must pay their bills.
All American Colleges Have a ‘C.R.E.P.’
A “C.R.E.P.” is a Creating Richer Employees Playbook. Your college has practiced the plays from this playbook relentlessly, and they call an audible for every student who applies.
You see, each university is full of administrators and faculty members who are seeking their own personal prosperity. Some studies estimate the salaries for all those employees account for 75% of the total budget.
When those employees get raises, (as they do almost every year at many schools), this puts pressure on the tuition prices that students need to pay. This tuition isn’t driven by a single play from the playbook. Instead, college admissions officers apply an audible to fit each student’s special circumstances.
That’s correct. Colleges use an audible for each student who gets an offer from the college. They’ve studied your (and your family’s) financial situation. They look for opportunities to make you a specific offer, designed to make you think you are getting a great deal, so you’ll come to that college instead of going somewhere else. It is called “enrollment management,” and it works.
I’ll Get You ‘In the Game’
Over the next few months, I’m going to get you “in the game.” My co-author (a former college football player and coach) has agreed to let me dig into our playbook for college students, parents and alumni, and share some insiders’ secrets to help you get the most from your college experience, save you money on college, and give you the tools to create personal prosperity after you graduate. We call ourselves, “The Professors Who Pay You Back,” because we appreciate the great livelihoods you gave us, and we want to help you prosper.
If you are a prospective college student, or a parent of one, you will love these columns. Even if college is not on your horizon, you will enjoy the lively discussion of this important and hot-button issue.
Stay tuned. Shoot me an email with your thoughts to bill@quain.com. And as I say each week, “I’ll see ya’ in the papers.”
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
