By Krystle J Bailey
As we celebrate freedom this week, I wanted to talk about a different kind of freedom: that of the mind. Specifically, as it relates to societal standards and our worth.
Blinded by my own set of circumstances as a child and young adult, I used to think that only overweight girls like myself could understand what it felt like to feel less than enough. I often envied thinner, fitter women. I thought that if I was just skinny, then I could truly be happy because thin girls must know what “enoughness” feels like.
Through my blogging and coaching years, I met countless women of all sizes that had deeply rooted struggles with their self image. With each story, I began to see a trend: 9 women out of 10 that I interacted with were unhappy with their self image.
I made it my life mission to do what I could to empower myself and the women around me to rewire the way they thought about themselves. I declared that I wouldn’t let myself or any of my beautiful friends and family feel like they were anything less than the beautifully and wonderfully made goddesses that they are.
I maintained that vow to myself for several years until I lost my own grip on it. It started slowly. One day I found myself crying out to my husband how “fat I was” and as I heard myself say it, I wanted to stop myself but the words kept coming. Nobody was there to say “Whoa, we don’t talk like that, Krystle.”
Before I knew it, I was back to having conversations about diets and weight in front of my daughter, something I vowed to never do. The slope was slippery and I was sloppily skiing my way down to the demise of my worth.
Recently, the spark was relit through conversations with people that I love. Women who I love and respect so deeply have been saying things about themselves and their bodies that I wouldn’t imagine saying to them in a million years. And all I can think is “I wish you could see how beautiful you are through my lens.”
It was in these moments that I realized I had been chained by these same proverbial shackles in my own mind yet again. Society, in all of its strength and power, has groomed us to believe that we need fixing. We are subtly brain-washed into believing that we need to be more, that we aren’t pretty or fit or flawless enough.
Offering us “solutions” to cosmetic “problems” around every corner, the beauty industry has trapped us into believing that we can never add up. If we aren’t careful, if we don’t work daily to fight back against the power of society and its unrealistic standards, we fall victim to the trap of never feeling worthy.
Freedom of the mind is an active and daily choice. The decision to rewire how we have been groomed to think about ourselves is one that must be made regularly. The chains that society has put on us that have declared our worth to be found in our outward appearance, are strong and mighty. But we are stronger and mightier. Your mind is a powerful weapon that can be used for good. Your body, your face, your perfectly laid hair or makeup does not determine your worth and the value that you bring to this world. It’s time to stop allowing social stigmas to tell us otherwise and start living in our own truths – free to be whomever we choose to be.
Set yourself free, beautiful. You are worthy of the freedom that awaits.
Krystle J Bailey is a multimedia journalist, freelance writer, and self published author.
