By Bill Quain
I’m not a meteorological expert. And I don’t have the records of how cold the first week of spring was for the last hundred years. But I’m certain that this is the coldest, wettest, windiest first week of spring there has ever been!
I’m writing this column on Sunday, March 24, at about 8 a.m. My plan was to get up early this morning, and walk over to the Ocean City High School track for a nice run. No way! It’s 30° outside, with wind gusts up to 29 mph. We just came through three days of rain and wind, with gusts up to 50 mph. Yes, I am certain, even without the past records, that this is the coldest first week of spring we’ve ever had.
And It Doesn’t Look Any Better
I just had ALEXA give me the seven-day weather forecast. Wind, rain, cold, and clouds. I keep asking ALEXA for an update, hoping it will change. But I feel certain that she keeps repeating the same, awful forecast, knowing it will drive me crazy. And do you know what will make me feel even worse? I’m sure that Amazon is going to start sending me ads for vacations in Florida. Why? Because ALEXA could hear the desperation in my voice as I asked for the weather forecast for the fourth time in a row. I’m sure she already reported me to Jeff Bezos. He probably shared it with Mark Zuckerberg, and whoever owns Google. They’ve already put the machine into motion. Pretty soon, my phone will be buzzing with messages about cruises, trips to Mexico, and condos for sale in Florida. Oh man, this is awful!
But … Maybe I Should Rethink This
My brother is down this weekend, and he has invited me to his place to watch the NCAA tournament – known as “March Madness.” I guess that’s a pretty good name for what I’m feeling – “March Madness!” In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what I felt last year about this time. Looking back, I probably felt this way every year! The weather isn’t any better, but at least now I have a name for it – my very own March Madness!
In the old days, they might have called it “Cabin Fever.” You can’t call it “Cabin Fever” in Ocean City, because there hasn’t been a cabin here for as long as anyone can remember. The only cabins left in Ocean City are the cabin cruisers you see on the bay in the summertime.
So, let’s take another look at my upcoming week. Today, it’s basketball and beer with my brother. That’s “3B’s” that go together very well! I’ll be teaching my classes at Stockton University’s Atlantic City campus. I love my students! And this week is special because it is “advising week.” I have about 25 students who are assigned to me. I love my advising day. Classes are canceled, and I get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with my advisees. It isn’t just a matter of helping them select courses. I get to look through their eyes at the future. I’m heading towards the end of my career, and they’re just on the brink of starting theirs. What a gift that is to me!
On Thursday afternoon, Guiding Eyes for the Blind, the organization who provided me with my Guide Dog Trudy, is sending down a trainer who will give Trudy and me a final checkout. I got Trudy two years ago, and when we get our final checkout, her title will officially pass to me. This means we’re a permanent team! So we’ll be celebrating Thursday night. I don’t know what kind of champagne dogs drink, but I’m sure David Setley, the Sommelier at Passion Vines, can give me some good advice.
ALEXA: Play Allan Sherman’s “Camp Granada”
Way back in 1963, comedian Allan Sherman produced a fantastic song called “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp).” More commonly, it’s remembered as “Camp Granada.” The opening stanza is:
Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh.
Here I am at Camp Granada.
Camp is very entertaining.
And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining.
The song goes on to describe the horrible conditions, the terrible coaches, the bad food, and even the plight of poor Jeffrey Hardey, who apparently got lost. They were about to “organize a searching party.”
Muddah, Fadduh, Kindly Disregard This Letter
The last stanza of the song is hysterical! Here are the words:
Wait a minute, it’s stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that’s bettah.
Muddah, Fadduh kindly disregard this letter.
Okay, so spring didn’t start off the way I wanted. But life is good! I’ve got friends, family, and I live in the best town in the whole world! I’m even going to get permanent title to my Guide Dog Trudy. I have the great privilege of teaching wonderful students at Stockton. And this evening we’ll have our weekly Zoom dinner with my father-in-law, sister-in-law, our daughter Amanda with our son-in-law Dustin, and our younger daughter Kathleen. We started this tradition four years ago, when it became clear that COVID was going to shut down the world. Over the ensuing four years, I’ll bet we haven’t missed more than about 10 of the Sunday Zoom dinners.
So it’s time to get back to reality, and forget my “March Madness.” My lesson for today? Control the things you can … and live with the weather!
Tell me about your “March Madness”
Okay, it’s your turn! Are you suffering from “March Madness?” I know the best therapy for that. Drop me an email to bill@quain.com, and I’ll get you right back on track! Don’t worry dear readers, I won’t “disregard that letter.”
And as I say each week, I’ll see ya in the papers!
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
