By Bill Quain
This is the first in a series of columns about the people who have touched our lives. I want to encourage my readers to send me their own six-word stories about special people they met along the way.
This week’s column was sparked by the memory of my cousin, Chrissy, who passed away last week. When I started thinking about Chrissy, a six-word story immediately popped into my head. Here are the six words that signify my relationship with Chrissy:
It’s the little things that matter.
Chrissy had a very interesting and creative life. She was an artist, a chef, and a caterer. Her funeral service will be this week, and I’m sure all these things will be mentioned. But the thing that is going to bring all of the mourners together isn’t going to be Chrissy’s great accomplishments. It will be the little things that happened between each one of us and Chrissy throughout our lives. I’d like to share a memory that demonstrates just how important these little things can be.
Growing up together in Ocean City
In previous columns, I’ve mentioned the crazy family house that was the center of our summer lives in Ocean City. My great-grandparents had left the house to their daughters, and each of those daughters had children and grandchildren. During a midwinter meeting every year, each family was assigned two weeks “down the shore” at the family house.
My grandparents had purchased a little cottage just two doors away from the big family house, so I got to spend two weeks each summer with all the different families as they came and went for their vacations. I have many lifelong friendships from those days and a lifetime of memories.
My cousin Chrissy and I were the same age. It was really fun to have a girl cousin to talk to. We went to different high schools, but we knew a lot of the same people. We always found great topics to discuss.
Chrissy’s great advice about meeting girls
In the summer of 1966, when Chrissy and I were both 14 years old, she gave me some advice about how to meet girls on the boardwalk. Frankly, I think she took pity on me. But she approached the subject with a great sense of humor and some terrific practical tips. Fifty-eight years later, I can still remember the exact words she used.
It started when I met Chrissy and her friend one night as they were coming back from the boardwalk. In those days, everyone dressed nicely to go to the boardwalk. Chrissy and her friend looked especially pretty. They were smiling and laughing after having a nice night on the boards. Chrissy told me the story of how two boys walked right up to her and her friend, started talking with them, and then took them to play miniature golf. Wow, she had my attention! I just couldn’t imagine being that smooth! I wanted the details so that I could start meeting girls on the boardwalk myself.
Dress nicely and always carry cash
Chrissy started her tale by describing how nicely those boys were dressed. As she spoke, my heart sank. She didn’t describe anything that sounded like it was in my closet. These guys weren’t from my neighborhood! If dressing like them was the big secret, I was going to become a hermit.
But then, the magic happened! I’ll never forget Chrissy’s words, even 58 years later. Chrissy said, “Oh richness, they each had $5!”
When I heard this, my spirits immediately rose. I could do that! I had a paper route and had just started work as a busboy. Now $5 was a lot of money in those days, but it was doable. Maybe I could meet girls on the boardwalk too.
Over the years, Chrissy and I laughed at that story when we’d see each other at family gatherings. But life takes us all on different journeys, and those meetings were few and far between. I think the last time I saw her was almost 10 years ago, at a Night in Venice party. We shared tales about our professional and family lives. As always, we shared a smile over those teenage years, when the most complicated thing was going to the boardwalk.
Thanks, Chrissy, that was great advice!
If you have been reading my column, you’ll remember that I believe there are three elements to being successful in life – “money, sunny and honey”. With this simple advice to me, Christy covered all three. The boys had “money” – their $5 each, or “richness” as Chrissy called it. The boys definitely had their “sunny” together. They were friendly, smiling, and happy. Remember, “honey” is relationships. Smiling at strangers on the boardwalk, talking to them, and then taking them to play miniature golf is a great way to start having “honey”!
I fondly remember a 58-year-old conversation.
It’s funny how someone can touch our lives with just the simplest thing. That conversation was a moment when cousins connected, and it’s something that always helps me remember how kind and happy Chrissy was. How many people do you remember from days long gone by?
How about you? What’s your story?
Okay, it’s your turn. Who did you meet along the way? Why are they important to you? Drop me an email to bill@quain.com. Visit my website, www.billquain.com to learn more about my speaking, my writing and my story. As I say each week, “I’ll see ya’ in the papers!”
Bill is a Professor in Stockton University’s Hospitality Management Program. He is the author of 27 books, and a highly-respected speaker. Even though he is almost totally blind, Bill is a long-distance runner and runs the Ocean City Half Marathon each year. He lives in Ocean City with his wife Jeanne, and his Guide Dog Trudy. Visit www.billquain.com or email him at bill@quain.com.
