By Charles P. Eberson
Senior Moments
I can’t sleep. I fall asleep, I just can’t stay asleep. Predictably, about one or one-thirty in the morning, I am awake and alert. Efforts to fall back to sleep are futile. I have read that as we age, we require less sleep but I don’t want less sleep. My mother used to be up at night and end up sleeping late or taking naps during the day. Perhaps, I am now on her schedule.
Once awake, my hamster wheel of a mind starts spooling up reviewing the events of the day. How I would like to shut myself off and reboot as easily as my iPhone. I have learned a few techniques of meditation, slow and deep breathing but my mind has put up a firewall. There are times when my wife has walked in the living room in the wee hours of the morning and found me on the laptop or reading a book. With a shake of her head, she turns and quickly slips into the soft embrace of slumber once again. A couple of nights ago, I was thinking of assembling the IKEA furniture we purchased but it was 4 a.m. and good sense prevailed. I wondered if I had ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) after watching a short YouTube video about the condition. The physician in the video said, it is not an “attention deficit.” It is more of an “attention overload.” Picture a Ferrari which has a sophisticated, powerful engine but with bicycle brakes. It is capable of excessive speeds but could not handle the braking efficiently. That sounds like me at night. The events of the day started showing up like a newsreel.
The Ferrari has started its engine. I think about how we went to REI, made a purchase and then went to a restaurant where I discovered I lost my credit card. Calls to REI did not produce a card so calls to the bank ensued. After repeated pleas of “Speak to a representative!” my account was frozen and a new card is in the mail which will be followed by reaching out to all the companies with whom I had automatic charges. The Ferrari is shifting gears and picking up speed. I am thinking about the ambitious adventure my wife and I are going to embark on in the spring (more about that later) and all the logistics that go along with that. Of course, the concerns of aging and the wellbeing of family is omnipresent. Gears shift once again. The Ferrari is howling, tugging on the reins. As a board member of our HOA, it is evident that it is operating like a mini Washington, D.C. with campaigning and promises being traded for loyalties. How am I going to navigate those turbulent waters? The bicycle brakes on the Ferrari smell like they are burning and the acceleration is pushing me deeper into the seat. Eventually, it had its way with me. The Ferrari finished its lap, thus releasing the grasp it had on me. I am wrung out, returned to bed and finally fell asleep. My wife is sympathetic and the next morning makes some suggestions including more exercise, more reading, guided meditation and even a glass (or two) of wine. That is the plan for now. I just hope there isn’t a Lamborghini idling somewhere nearby.
Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years. He has worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com
