Moms Vibe:
By Krystle J. Bailey
April is Autism Acceptance Month. While you may be accustomed to hearing it referred to as Autism Awareness Month, the name change was encouraged by the Autism Society of America in 2021. This simple but necessary change shines a light on the difference between simply being aware that autism exists versus learning how to be more inclusive of those living with autism.
Approximately 1 in 44 children living in the United States has been identified as being on the autism spectrum, which means every one of us will inevitably know and love an autistic child or many in this lifetime. It is important to not just be aware but to understand how to work towards more inclusivity and understanding in schools, at work, and in our community. Who better to ask for advice than mothers?
We asked a group of moms of autistic children what they wanted the world to know about autism. The responses shared two common threads: patience and respect.
As the writer of this article who does not have an autistic child, I felt it was not my place to change the wording in the responses below. The following quotes are from real, local moms sharing their insight and love.
The question:
“What do you wish people knew/understood/thought twice about when it comes to loving your child. If you could shout it from the rooftops, what would you tell the world?”
The responses:
“Give them time. Give them space. Don’t expect them to answer you immediately. Count to 30 before you ask again. Don’t force them to make eye contact with you. Be very specific with your words. When you say ‘in a minute,’ make sure you truly mean in 60 seconds. Ask if you can touch them. If they say no, don’t get your feelings hurt. Be in the moment with them. Give them space.”
“They are not defined by autism!! They have many capabilities!”
“Try not to judge when they communicate differently than you’re used to or if they’d rather not communicate. Chances are they have worked very hard to develop coping mechanisms to be in social situations. They aren’t trying to be disrespectful to you, so don’t take it personally.”
“Just because he’s just learning to speak doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand.”
“They can hear you. Just because a child may be nonverbal, it does not mean they cannot hear, understand, and feel words.”
“If you met one person with autism, then you met one person with autism. They are all different and should be treated as individuals. Just because he’s different and he struggles with a group doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be more involved. Have patience, kindness, and understanding.”
“Treat them like anyone else. But understand they may not reply as a “typical” child would. They have their own personalities and interests just like anyone else would. Just accept them for who they are and where they are.”
“Autism doesn’t define who your child is because they are amazing and unique individuals with beautiful personalities. My daughter reminds me each day, just with a smile and a hug, that I am doing the best I can as her mom.”
As a mother, I know that it takes a village. While the village may look different than it once had, it is still our responsibility to love on the children in our communities to the best of our ability. Autistic children are extraordinary little humans who make the world around us all the more beautiful. It’s important for me to read stories from other moms who are tasked with parenting a little bit differently than I do and to teach my children how to be inclusive. While we honor and celebrate awareness months with a great deal of respect, it is important to remember that any day, week, or month is a great opportunity to learn more about the lives of others and the challenges that they face. Learning how to be more inclusive begins with being informed. I encourage you to ask another mother how you can better love, accept, and include their child, whatever their unique gifts may be.
Krystle J Bailey. Multimedia journalist, Author, Poet.
Connect with Krystle on Instagram @thedailybailey5
