A while back, I wrote an article on how to discuss money with your children at different stages of their lives. As we get older and our children become adults, one of the best ways to have this discussion is to hold a moderated family meeting. This is one of my favorite things to do with clients. Adult children need to understand the complexities (or lack of) for your estate. As I’ve mentioned before, even under the best of circumstances with the best planning, settling a loved one’s estate can still be a burden for the executors or executrices. To say, well, I’ll be gone, so it’s their problem, is frankly a cop-out. If you love your family, don’t make their lives harder than they need to be, especially during their time of grief.
So, what does a family meeting look like? Typically, we have the whole family come in. Those who live far away may join via Zoom. It is our job to act as the moderator of the discussion. Many times, we don’t get into the full details of how much the parents have, but rather the types of assets, where they are, and how the estate is currently going to be distributed upon the parents’ passing. It is important to note that these plans may change over time, and future meetings should be held to reflect that.
This is the part where many of you just bristled a bit at what I just said. There is a natural tendency not to want to discuss these things with your family in order to not stir up any potential conflicts. Here is the issue with that line of thinking, however: conflict may happen either way, whether you discuss it now, or they do after you are gone. At least by having a meeting today with a moderator, you can often minimize those conflicts. Again, we don’t have to talk about the details with your money, but this is your opportunity to discuss your wishes with your family regarding what you want them to do with the money. Maybe not in exact terms, but how you’d like to see them benefit from it. Do you want them to be more charitably inclined? Do you want them to focus on paying for your grandkid’s education?
This is your chance to put some context around your wishes for what they might do with an inheritance. These wishes may or may not be carried out, but at least they will understand your wishes and why you are leaving behind the estate the way you’ve chosen. There are ways of ensuring that the money is used exactly the way you want, but that’s a discussion for a different day.
Having a moderated family meeting regarding your estate plan can help to get everyone on the same page and potentially reduce conflicts. Also, not insignificantly, it may help reduce the stress heirs sometimes feel about what they should or shouldn’t be doing with an inheritance.
Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Reich Asset Management, LLC is not affiliated with Kestra IS or Kestra AS. The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney, or tax advisor with regard to your individual situation. To view form CRS visit https://bit.ly/KF-Disclosures.
Eric is President and founder of Reich Asset Management, LLC. He relies on his 25 years of experience to help clients have an enjoyable retirement. He is a Certified Financial Planner™ and Certified Investment Management AnalystSM (CIMA®) and has earned his Chartered Life Underwriter® (CLU®) and Chartered Financial Consultant® (ChFC®) designations.
