A Senior’s Observations, Opinions and Rantings
The holiday season is in full swing and with it comes good wishes, good food, good drink and among other good times, shopping. While some participate in the event of shopping like it is a competition; a contact sport if you will, I am not a fan of shopping. Much to my wife’s chagrin, I do not like to shop and least of all during this time of year. I know what you’re thinking, “What a Scrooge.” I do have to say, my wife has a knack for gift buying, managing to buy the right gift for any occasion on a consistent basis. As life has played out for thousands of years, there are Hunters and there are Gatherers. This plays out in a number of ways with us and shopping is just one of them. As a shopping hunter, if I need a shirt I go out, stalk the shirt selections, buy one and come home. The same is played out for most things I need to shop for. My wife, as a shopper gatherer takes in the whole environment like a general surveying a battlefield and breaks it down into sections, surgically attacking each one. It is hard enough for her to get me to go off Absecon Island where I have spent the major part of my life. When she would ask if I wanted to go to Hamilton Mall or Consumer Square my question was “Do I need a passport” or “What’s the carry on limit?” Eventually, I realized that she wanted a wingman, some company on her shopping trips and as a dedicated husband, I complied thus joining the ranks of husbands slumped over shopping carts, sitting on benches or racked out in chairs with heads back and mouths open. I have honed this skill into a fine art as we followed the maze of illuminated arrows on the floor at IKEA. Just around practically every turn there was a chair, a recliner, a sofa and even a bed which I was discouraged not to get in and pull up the covers. We recently had to go up Route 73 in Marlton and as traffic became snarled and backed up, I remarked “Don’t these people work? Have they all called out of work to go shopping? It’s midweek in the afternoon.” I just wanted to get back to my little island. It all came to head this week after we went to a large national discount store. After walking up and down the aisles at a glacier’s pace, my eyes locked onto another gentleman who was sharing my fate. His eye roll said it all and we both shook our heads and smiled. I ran into him a couple more times and with the simple nod of recognition, we bonded. Graciously, my wife asked if I would like to walk around by myself so I thankfully took my leave and started wandering through the store like I was in an airport looking for my departure gate. As the hour ticked, the store became more crowded and the tempo became a bit more frenzied. I witnessed a man and women cussing and screaming at each other to the point where I thought I was going to see some grounding and pounding. People were called to each other across the store while others were eating as they stood in line to checkout. Oh, the humanity. How TV reality show producers have missed the opportunity at these stores is amazing. In closing, I admit I am a shopping ball and chain but with the days before Christmas quickly counting down, there are still people we want to buy for. The question is, can we do this either on our island on online?
Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years. He has worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com
