A Note About New Year’s Diets
Mom’s Vibe
By Krystle J. Bailey
Who I am is not defined by my flesh.
I see it in the mirror but what about the rest?
My eyes, they connect deeply.
My lips, they kiss sweetly.
My arms, they hug my family.
My hands, they write freely.
My shoulders, they comfort completely.
My stomach? It carried life within me!
My skin, it caresses gently.
My heart loves intensely.
My legs. This SOUL they carry.
My knees, on them I pray intently.
My feet carry me as I live fully.
I am not defined by my flesh, it’s just what you see.
This body is a home for the life that lives within me.
Dear Shore Local Moms, We are one month into the new year, which means new years resolutions are well underway. So many of us tend to begin new diets, workout routines, or other healthy living adventures with each new year. As someone who was a yo-yo dieter for years, my new years always began with a shiny new diet plan. Year after year, I’d set out to finally lose the weight once and for all.
In 2010, after I had my daughter, I finally kicked a significant amount of weight. However, in the two years that followed, I often tell people that I exchanged my unhealthy body for an unhealthy mind.
In my 2017 book, Nourish: A Journey to Loving and Embracing the Woman Within, I detail my lengthy, emotional, and traumatic battle with my mind as it relates to my body and weight. Through my writing, I interviewed countless other women who were raised in similar situations, with well-intentioned mothers that they simply idolized. The same women that they saw as infallible, were obsessed with dieting and loathed the way their bodies looked.
As a young mother, I inadvertently began to rinse and repeat the cycle of body shame and dieting trauma that plagued my formative years. When my daughter was a baby, I was on a journey of losing a great deal of weight that I also shared publicly. By the time she was two, I was deeply damaged mentally.
As I began to pick up the pieces at my new rock bottom, I vowed that I’d do better by my daughter. Even if it meant gaining weight. Even if it meant backing away from everything I knew to be “healthy” in order to create a new healthy reality for myself.
The great Maya Angelou said it best, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
I share this all with you today to encourage you as you may be on a new health journey this year, mind the words that you use about your child’s hero. The faces you make in the mirror, the words you speak about yourself, the obsessive dieting – your children won’t miss it. They do not miss anything. Our babies observe everything, even when we don’t think they’re paying attention.
How we speak about ourselves gives our children subconscious permission to feel the same way about themselves. Your loose skin, stretch marks, or extra pounds mean nothing to your child. It’s the love, memories, and moments that they cherish. You’re their everything whether or not you lose the weight. I hope that this little message will serve as a reminder the next time you want to tear yourself apart with your words. After all, you wouldn’t talk about Superwoman like that, would you?
Take that healthy journey, sure. Just remember that health comes in many forms, the most important of which is mental and emotional. Be kind – especially to the most important person in your world, yourself.
Re-read the poem at the top of this piece, except this time recite those same truths as your own. You are not defined by your flesh. It is simply the vessel that holds all the beautiful, internal things about you.
Krystle J Bailey. Multimedia journalist, Author, Poet
KrystleJBailey.com
