Family Corner
By Krystle J Bailey
Welcome back to Family Corner! In the last two columns, I shared stories of Christmas, including what it was like growing up as an elf and a little bit about Snowflake, our family Elf on the Shelf. In each article, I’ve shared a little about growing up in Atlantic County, where I was born and raised, followed by a practical list of elf tips, local holiday activities, and more.
As we inch toward Christmas, I can’t help but notice that my thirteen-year-old daughter seems to have lost the holiday spirit a little bit. The same kid that came home from preschool begging for an Elf on the Shelf seems unphased by Snowflakes’s whereabouts each morning, though there is a spark of Christmas magic I can still see in her eye when she talks about baking cookies for Santa.
I often find myself saying, “I was just thirteen, so it seems pretty impossible that I am the mother of a thirteen-year-old.”
Time has a way of slipping through your fingers when you’re not paying attention and even when you are. One minute, they’re asking for LOL Surprise dolls and more slime than you can fathom bringing into your house, then you blink, and they want Apple Watches and Air Jordans.
You’ve heard all the phrases, “Time is of the essence,” “Time waits for no one,” and “Time flies when you’re having fun.”
Cliche sayings exist because they’re true.
But time is also a great healer, a precious commodity, and the wisest counselor of all. As I look back over the last thirteen years of holiday magic, I am thankful to have had such amazing experiences with my kids. I don’t know when the day will come that my daughter is ready to transition into her legacy as a family elf, but for now, I am holding onto each little spark of magic and the twinkle I can still see in her eyes every now and again.
As we look forward to the end of 2023 and the passing of another year, here are five quick tips that I am using to stay present and soak in as much “now” as I can because I know that if I blink again, thirteen more years could pass by without my consent.
- Cultivate gratitude
I often find myself missing the days of old, longing for the tiny versions of my rapidly growing children. Unfortunately, as the laws of time state, I can not turn back the clock. What I can do is be super present to what’s happening right now. Gratitude is a key component in many things in my life, including grounding myself in the present moment.
Try it on: Find ten quick things to be thankful for that you can see or feel around you and shift your intentions to focusing on those things. It can be as simple as air in your lungs or as big as the fact that Santa has you on the nice list this year. Whatever it is, gratitude is the catalyst for all good things in this life.
- Awaken the senses
When you’re overthinking, worrying, or lost in a daydream, it’s impossible to fully feel and experience what is happening around you. This is a tool I use in meditation, but it is also a great way to settle the nervous system and reduce stress during the holiday season.
Try it on: Pause and take a few deep breaths, then tap into your five senses. Identify something you can see, something you can feel, something you can smell, something you can hear, and something you can taste. The best part about this tip is the holiday season smells and tastes like cookies, looks like a winter wonderland and feels a lot like love. Soak it all in! There’s nowhere else better than here and now.
- Create new traditions
The years pass, and the wish lists evolve. As the little ones grow into young adults, the traditions we hold close to our hearts begin to grow with them. Be willing to create new experiences as the seasons of life change. I used to love Christmas dinner at my aunt’s house when I was a kid. Now, my aunt comes to my house to help me cook for my whole family. This year, my daughter, who has expressed an interest in a culinary career, will be in the kitchen with us as we prepare to host twenty family members in our home.
Try it on: Think of something that you loved as a child during the holidays and look at ways to integrate those memories into your family holiday dynamic today. It could be something as simple as exchanging one gift on Christmas Eve or making a special family recipe together. It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s something meaningful to you and your family.
- Breathe it all in
Our minds can take us far away from our current reality, but our breath is the most powerful and simple way to reel things back in. Breathing is a natural and automatic process that connects us to the present moment and helps us relax. Yoga, meditation, and focused breathwork are all potent tools. But what about the busy parent who can’t make it to a yoga class right now or is inundated with work and shopping?
Meditation and breathing don’t have to happen while sitting cross-legged on the floor in silence. You can use the power of your breath anywhere, anytime, for it belongs to you. When you’re in the mall or wrapping presents, or you find yourself overwhelmed by the season, take a pause and make a conscious note of how you’re breathing. Shifting your focus to steadying your breath and expressing gratitude for the air pumping through your lungs will calm the anxiety and bring things back to the moment.
Try it on: How are you breathing right now? Focus on the rise and fall of your chest. Breathe in as deeply as possible and enjoy the sensation of lungs filled with air. Let it go and repeat. With each passing breath, allow the stress of the past or worry of the future to dissipate. The only thing that matters is now.
- One thing at a time
Take a pause. You are only one person. I am entirely too good at multitasking these days with so many balls in the air and things to juggle. Between career life, parenting, sports, health, family, and friends, there is always something to be thinking about but you are still one person with one brain and two hands. Everything will get done. It always does! Simplify the overwhelm by focusing on only one thing at a time. If you’re baking cookies with your kids then just bake cookies with your kids. Do your best to slow down and focus on one thing. As you do, repeat tips one through four – breathe in the moment, express as much gratitude as humanly possible, tap into your senses, and enjoy the holiday traditions unfolding before your eyes.
All of these tips can also be shared with the little ones. Kids are mini adults and have their own versions of stress, worry, and anxiety. If any of these stick out to you, I encourage you to share them with your kids as well. May your week be filled with love, peace, and joy. Until next time! I’d love to hear from you. Email me your feedback at KrystleJBailey@gmail.com.
Krystle J Bailey is a published author, multimedia journalist, copywriter, and content creator. She is a regular Shore Local columnist and digital contributor as well as the booking agent and co-host of the radio show Joe’s Table for Two on WOND. Krystle can be reached at KrystleJBailey@gmail.com
