From the Editor
If I could measure the gap between my expectations and the reality of motherhood, it would easily span the width of the Grand Canyon. In my nearly 30 years of motherhood, I’ve been shown time and time again that it’s all about adjusting to the unexpected.
One of my greatest misconceptions about parenthood was believing that it was an 18-year contract. As I write this, my 26-year-old daughter is stranded at an airport in Dallas after her flight was canceled. It was delayed three times before the cancellation and was initially supposed to be a brief layover. Now it’s 2 a.m.
She is traveling alone, and I am a nervous wreck. There was nothing in the “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” books about this level of parenting. They don’t warn you that life after diapers, bottles, and sleep training comes a whole new mothering experience that not a book in the world could prepare you for.
Like many parents, I did my best parenting before the birth of my first child. I can’t tell you how many times I’d observe a situation and think to myself that my child would never do that. I was foolishly certain that my future children would be perfect because I was going to be a perfect mom after all.
It’s laughable how wrong I was. My son developed differently than any book ever written could fully explain, or any veteran mom could have prepared me for. All three of my kids expressed their uniqueness in ways that were far beyond my control. That became my first and most notable lesson as a mother – I was no longer in control. Since that first baby’s cry, my world has revolved around my children and their well-being.
I faced public tantrums and behaviors that quickly humbled me. One time I had to go to a meeting at my son’s school to discuss his behavior (any mom’s worst nightmare). The specialist pulled out what looked like a 12-page dossier outlining every detail of my son’s “issues.” I squirmed in my seat and cringed as they discussed his behavior. Then I looked at the name on the document, and it was a different student’s name! What a relief. I let out a laugh as I pointed out the clerical error and was brought back to reality.
“Whew!” I thought. “Thank goodness! My child would never act like that.”
On the flip side, I have experienced heart-swelling moments of pride at my children’s accomplishments. From being the mom of a voracious reader to seeing my daughter accepted to law school, I often think to myself, “I must be doing something right.”
Whether I can take credit, I will never know. Like many of us, I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, but one thing I am sure of is that I love all of my children with my whole heart. I believe that is the greatest gift any of us can give.
I have also received so much love from my children. From sticky hugs to my now-grown best friends, my kids have taught me more about love and being a better human than anything else in my life.
Before I had children, I could not imagine a love so big, fierce, and truly unconditional. There is a reason we’re often referred to as “mama bears,” as we protect and love our human cubs with the same ferocity as mother bears in the wild.
Being a mom brought out the best in me. Each of my children taught me to love more, judge less, think differently, and be braver than I ever thought I could be. Everything I am and have accomplished is because I was blessed with the opportunity to be a mom.
One of my children has gone ahead of me to Heaven. As I face my third Mother’s Day without him, I am reminded that tomorrow is never promised. I treasure the moments with my daughters and my mom more than ever before, holding on to each fleeting moment with the love that only a mama bear can embody.
Here’s to the moms, the mothers-to-be, and grandmothers pulling double duty, raising their grandchildren. Here’s to the mothers that are also the fathers. Here’s to the tired moms, the bereaved moms, and the future moms facing fertility issues. We see you, and we honor you today and every day because, let’s face it, moms do not get a day off, even on Mother’s Day.
Wishing you and yours a Happy Mother’s Day!
Peace & Love,
Cindy
