By Sarah Fertsch
Call me Scrooge, but here’s the cold hard facts: The holidays are the absolute worst. We pretend that they are super fun, but when you’ve heard the same Mariah Carey ballad 30 times, you’re in no mood to deck the halls. We honor this sacred season the same way every year with the same stress. My question is why?
My mom is a lover of tradition, and my grandma is the same way. They talk about having the same Christmas parties, Thanksgiving menus and recurring guests at every celebration. Yet, every year, I see my mom scurry around the kitchen cleaning and cooking, sometimes in tears. We don’t have to live this way. If your holiday is bringing you stress, then change it.
Here are some practical tips on how descruct your holiday empire:
1. Keep the food simple yet delicious
I have a lot of emotions about this. If you are an inexperienced cook, do not try to make twelve sides and two types of pies for Thanksgiving. Keep it real. Cook what you can do well. Youtube is an excellent resource for cooking show-stopper stuffing and brining the tastiest turkey. Make two sides, and call it a day. If you are like my mom and gag at the idea of a turkey, make a lasagna. Who cares if you are following tradition. You are doing the best you can and celebrating with the people you cherish.
2. Stop buying gifts for everyone
Okay, we’re all adults here (kids are a separate issue). No one needs another Hallmark figurine or kitchen sign that reads “favorite grandpa.” We have spending power to purchase what we really want, and as much as we pretend we know, weDdon’t know what people actually want. I recommend doing a “Secret Santa,” where each person gets a gift for one person. And if you don’t know what someone wants, ask! Nothing is more awkward than having to return someone’s “supposedly-well-thought-out” gift.
3. Celebrate on a day that works for you
Sometimes we panic because we feel like we have to eat our Thanksgiving feast on the last Thursday of November. That is not true. If you have to work Black Friday at midnight, it’s silly to cook all day and stress on Thanksgiving. If you have to fly to see family, why would you go on the most expensive day of the year? That’s crazy. Pick a weekend in January (which will help you overcome the winter blues) and make that “Thanksgiving” or “Christmas” or “Kwanza.”
4. Invite whoever will make your day better.
Just because it’s the holidays does not mean you have to invite bullies. Does crazy Aunt Velma always ask you for money? Does your great grandfather make inappropriate jokes? This is your party. You have the control. Don’t invite them, and don’t feel guilty. If inviting these people is going to make you anxious, then the holiday can’t truly be enjoyed. It’s your job to protect your guests. That means appropriate boundaries, and not letting tradition ruin your season. You deserve the best. Just say no.
5. Pare down decorations
Unpopular opinion: decorations are a waste of time and money. Excuse my Grinchiness, but think about how much space they take up. Think about how much money you waste on one month per year. Think about how much time you spend hauling them from one room to another and then shoving them back in their storage space. Keep it simple, dear reader. For Christmas, get a tree, maybe some garland and a few lights. You don’t need twelve Santa figurines. Your Nativity scene doesn’t need a cow, donkey and sheep. You don’t need separate Christmas dishes. Make the right choice for your sanity, wallet, and the earth (think about how bad wrapping paper is for the environment!).
If you are an expert in holiday management, here are some fast tips:
Gift succulents and plants to friends (they are cheap, sustainable and cute!)
Consider shopping at small businesses and support your community (that includes your local butcher for an organic turkey)
Put down the smart phones and challenge yourself to not post anything on social media
Write meaningful cards and express your love and appreciation
Spend time with others in intentional, seasonal ways, like baking cookies or driving to see the neighborhood lights
Learn a new skill and make gifts (knit a scarf, make homemade face scrubs, or paint).
When you feel stressed, ask “why?” Is it cooking, family members or money? Be thoughtful. Change what you have control over. Choose peace.
Make this the best holiday season yet. Remember, this is your life. Make your holidays something to look forward to, not dread.
