By Sarah Fertsch
According to the American Psychological Association, almost forty percent of Americans admitted feeling increased stress around the holidays. Why? There are several reasons, such as pressure to host the perfect party, shop for gifts, and make memories with people who may have different opinions than you. On top of all that, there’s also financial stress, like adding gift costs into the weekly budget. Furthermore, as we collectively live through a pandemic, we are navigating uncharted waters. All this stress can even have negative impacts on your health. You could lose hair, have stomach pain, experience migraines, or feel your muscles tense. The good news, however, is that there are steps we can take to prevent and cope with these holiday pressures. Here are three ways to mentally combat stress and have the best end-of-year ever:
Practice Radical Acceptance
Anyone who has gone through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy will know this concept. Radical Acceptance is a way to let go of unnecessary anxiety by accepting the reality of circumstances, and thus being able to move forward. For example, a party host may freak out over not being able to have expensive accommodations for guests, like a cheese board or cloth napkins. They may spend days in agony over how to make the party look luxurious. If the host practiced Radical Acceptance, they could admit, “Okay, I don’t have the means for a cheese board or fancy napkins. I can’t change that. I can, however, make this party great with other things.” Once the host gives up worrying about not having the right food or decor, they can have more mental energy to plan the party in a realistic way. Radical Acceptance can be applied to almost any situation, whether it’s holiday stress or any major life change. Try it, and you’ll feel freer and happier!
Set Appropriate Boundaries
If you are a people pleaser like me, you probably have to give up a lot for other people. You might want peace at a holiday dinner, but you worry that a grouchy relative would be offended if you didn’t invite them. You deserve to stand up for yourself and your desires. Instead of letting other people run the show, speak up and set boundaries on what you will tolerate and what you won’t. If you feel uncomfortable at church, kindly tell your family that you won’t be attending Mass this year. They may be upset, but you will feel much better having made your own choices and prioritizing your well-being. If your aunt requires every relative to buy a gift for her little dog, but you don’t have room in your budget, kindly tell your aunt that you cannot afford a gift for her dog, or maybe make something small for it. She may be angry, but you’ll be happier in the long run. When you live your life not living to please others, you can finally be free!
Avoid the “Happiness Trap”
There is so much pressure to be happy during the holidays. Every commercial has happy music and smiling faces, and you may want your kids to be in euphoria over holiday traditions and opening gifts. Debra Kissen, the executive director of the Light on Anxiety CBT Center, says, “When we try too hard to be happy, we make ourselves miserable.” The overcommercialization of Christmas, holiday travel, and family get-togethers create stress, which often contradicts happiness. Don’t pretend the emotion doesn’t exist. If you are angry that your flight got delayed, feel that anger, and release it in a healthy way (not by yelling at the flight attendant). The holiday season is just like any other time of the year in terms of coming with a diverse array of emotions. Don’t pressure your family or yourself to be happy all the time. Instead, enjoy the moments that are genuinely jolly, and you’ll love the holidays even more.
Don’t let the holiday season control you. Make an intentional effort to protect your joy and freedom by following these three steps. When you find yourself smiling or laughing with loved ones, you’ll appreciate what the holidays are all about.
