By Krystle J. Bailey
“Sometimes you feel like a hero
Sometimes you don’t.
Mothers do all the things
That others won’t.”
I hope you sang that to the tune of the old Almond Joy and Mounds commercial, “Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut.”
The point is, sometimes it feels like we have it all together as moms. Some days feel like we are winning at this parenting game and other days it feels like we have no clue which way is up.
For me, most days start off on the right foot and by early afternoon, I am lost in the mix. Around 1PM, I find myself trying to find some resemblance of productivity in our home to get us through the rest of the day.
It’s in those moments of chaos that I am most reminded that these kids don’t need “perfect” right now. They need sanity just like we do. Our kids feel the stresses of not being in school and the changes in their lifestyle as much as we do.
Going into this school year, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that all of our children will be in a similar boat going back to school. Some will struggle, others will excel, but all of them will be coming out of this weird time in their lives.
Of course, their reading, writing, and arithmetic will matter but I personally believe that their emotional and mental health will be of utmost importance as they head back into the world. That said, I’ve tried my hardest to nurture the emotional well being of my two children, even if that means skimping on the math lesson some days.
As moms, our mental and emotional well being matters as well. And let’s be honest, we lead the pack. Our moods and emotions can sway the emotions of the entire house. Spouses, kids, pets, and whoever else lives in your home feed off of the emotions of “Mama Bear.” Taking care of ourselves in the midst of those moments of chaos holds more value than we imagine. While it feels like just walking away might not be conducive to checking off the to-do list, it might be exactly what everyone needs that day.
I’m riding this new learning curve with the rest of you as we figure out virtual learning, hybrid schedules, or homeschool depending on your unique situation. We are all in the same boat trying to navigate. In my experience, any time I’ve had to use the phrase, “learning curve” to describe my current reality, it has never been something easy!
What I have learned though, is that us moms are built for hard things. We bend, shift, adjust, and adapt where necessary to rise above and continue to show up for our family.
Homeschool is no different. This wasn’t what any of us planned, yet here we are. Through my experience over the last couple of months (I started homeschooling my kids August 1st), I have found that we all fizzle out in the afternoons. So instead of fighting it, I have been adjusting to cater to it.
For example, I know through trial and error that there is no way on God’s green earth that my 5th grader will complete a math assignment without a full tantrum after 3pm. Therefore, I don’t even try anymore. All math has to get done before noon and most days, we “eat the frog” and get the hardest task done first.
I know that after lunch, both of my children want to relax a bit so after many days of fighting back, I finally decided to adjust their schedule to cater to that. I also had to accept that my long list of “to-do”s was never going to be complete so rather than fighting, I shortened the list.
I am constantly working on creating a sense of calm within myself and my home. It’s a huge struggle for me and I know many of my fellow moms can relate. I think for me, the biggest thing has been understanding that it isn’t all going to get done. Not every day, at least. Being gentle with ourselves, with our children, and with the overall situation is what all of us need right now.
The world is full of so much stress and so many anxieties right now. We feel it all and so do our littles. I want to encourage you to eliminate as much of those stressors as possible. Lighten the load as much as you can. There will be a time when we are all back to the grind outside of the home. When kids are back in school, sports, after school activities and we are busy in the office, networking, work dinners.
For now, let’s take a collective deep breath and know that it is okay to not get it all done. It’s okay to not check every box or cross off every list. It’s okay to go a little easy on yourself and the people around you. We are living through strange times. Show yourselves some grace and love through the process. We will all be better for it.
Ps. Let’s remember to treat everyone around us with kindness. When the world is trying to turn us against one another, I encourage you to lean in instead. Love will always trump hate.
Until next time, stay well my fellow Shore Local Moms. Take care of yourselves and each other.
Krystle J Bailey. Multimedia journalist, Author, Poet
KrystleJBailey.com
