Mom’s Vibe
By Krystle J. Bailey
Balancing everything that comes with being a mother is the challenge of a lifetime. Whether you stay at home with your kids, work full time outside of the home, or some version of in between, balancing it all can often prove to be incredibly difficult. Every time we seem to get into a groove, the seasons change and we have to readjust.
When the going gets tough and you feel overwhelmed, consider these 5 questions to bring you back to the center.
What can I outsource?
I know it feels like you have to do it all but the pressure to do everything, for everyone, all of the time is outdated. As moms, we are doing more in a day than ever imaginable. If nobody has granted you this permission yet, here it is! Outsource. We can only do so much in a day and if we keep trying to do it all, we will experience the inevitable burnout. There is so much rest available to us when we ask for help. With resources like grocery delivery or pickup, care.com, and angieslist.com, there are helping hands readily available. We just need to drop our pride enough to ask for the help we need. Ask yourself, “who can help me with this so my time can be used most effectively?”
What can wait?
Everything feels urgent when the to-do list is piling up. However, if you take a step back and really ask the question, “what can wait?” you will often find that it’s not as urgent as it seems. When life seems to be piling up, slow down and focus on the most urgent and important first.
The four quadrants of time management are a great way to organize your thoughts and time. Whether you use it for business, parenting, life, or a hybrid of it all, it’s a helpful tool. Make a full list of everything that requires your attention, then separate the items into Quadrant 1 through 4 (reference image).
If you are not quite ready to create the full quadrant, simply stop to ask yourself throughout the day:
Is this urgent?
Is this important?
Can it wait?
What can I let go of?
What things in your life simply are not serving you anymore? Are there things in your life that are only taking up empty space but adding to the overwhelm? Not everything is meant to serve your greater purpose every season of life. Some things may need to be snipped out, cut off, let loose. Take a minute to ask yourself what feels unnecessary right now. It is liberating to free yourself of things that no longer serve you.
How can I communicate better?
So many of us just plow through each day trying to check off the to-do list, never slowing down enough to communicate with our partners, family, or children. It leads to guilt and shame, feeling like we are dropping at least one of the balls. Not to mention, if we are not asking for help, it is likely that the people around us think we have it all figured out. The willingness to ask for help or communicate our needs is something that many of us need to put into practice. Free flowing communication can change the game altogether for busy moms.
Where can I show more grace?
Take the pressure off. Look around and ask yourself where you could show yourself a little more grace. Take a deep breath and know that you are doing the absolute best you can. We walk around with our Supermom capes without question day after day. Then when it gets to be too much, so many of us are quick to feel guilty for not handling it all more efficiently. This is your invitation to find a space in your life that you need to be more gentle with yourself in. You are still a supermom!
As the seasons change, just remember that we have been called to this role. These children were chosen for us to love, to raise, and to empower. We are exactly where we need to be, even when it feels impossible. You are allowed to ask for help, to slow down, to seek ease. You deserve it!!
Krystle J Bailey. Multimedia journalist, Author, Poet
KrystleJBailey.com
