Senior Moments
By Charles P. Eberson
“Your call is very important to us.” NO, IT ISN’T. “This call is recorded and monitored for quality control.” NO ONE IS LISTENING AND IF SO, THEY ARE NOT CONTROLING ANYTHING. “All of our representatives are busy. Your approximate waiting time is nine hours and fourteen seconds. If you would like a call back, please leave your number and one of our representatives will call.” NO ONE IS CALLING BACK. Also, this company must sit around in a boardroom and try to find the most annoying music to listen to while on hold. They must say, “I’m fairly confident that after a few minutes of listening to this music, they will surely hang up.” I would almost prefer hearing, “The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.”
If this seems a little jaded, it is because my wife and I have been in customer purgatory for the past thirteen months which just ended in a huge dumpster fire. In September 2020, I finally bended to the pressure of renovating our 25-year-old kitchen with new cabinets, counter tops and appliances; range, dishwasher, refrigerator and microwave. Ever the overthinker, I did my due diligence in researching the best models and the best places to order, finally landing on where I would get the best buy. The stove and dishwasher arrived on the date as promised but I received an email from the store saying that the refrigerator is on back order and I would be contacted with a new delivery date. After a while, I received a date in the next month. Two days before delivery, I received another email with the same news and I was given another delivery date a couple months away. My wife was disappointed but we knew the pandemic was causing problems with production and staffing so we accepted the news with uncharacteristic grace. Over the course of a year, this happened a total of five times until my temper got short.
After the Appointment Manager set another date for delivery and closed out the phone call with the question, “Is there anything else I can help you with today,” I replied, ANYTHING ELSE, ANYTHING ELSE? JUST DELIVER WHAT I ORDERED A YEAR AGO, THAT’S WHAT ELSE. To paraphrase a Seinfeld line, “you can sell me the refrigerator, you just can’t deliver the refrigerator.”
As the date of the sixth delivery loomed, I was waiting for the next disappointing email but instead I got a call confirming the delivery date and asking if I would prefer the delivery in the morning or afternoon. I said, I don’t care if it is in the dark of night as long as it is delivered. I was told the driver will call one hour before delivery. No call but the delivery truck rolls up and we scrambled to unload our refrigerator and freezer. The eagerly anticipated, shiny brand new refrigerator was taken off the truck and it was the wrong one.
My wife and I stood there motionless in complete disbelief. How could this be? Back on the truck, phone calls, emails, profuse apologies and a new delivery date in a few days. Delivery truck comes, food taken out the of refrigerator and freezer. I asked the worker to check the fridge before he takes it off the truck. Wrong refrigerator again. Phone calls, emails, more profuse apologies and a new delivery date of October 19. But it gets better.
I receive another email that in addition to our refrigerator, our delivery will include a dishwasher and stove, the same ones that were delivered over a year ago. Coincidentally, I regularly check my credit card activity and that day I noticed an unauthorized $29.99 and $74.38 charge to my card from the appliance store. Again, I am swallowed up in the dark side of their phone system listening to lobotomizing music and how important my call is.
After being transferred four times, I finally resolved to dispute those charges with my credit card company.
Conclusion: In desperation, we visited a locally owned appliance store and as luck would have it, they had refrigerator we wanted in stock. It can be delivered in a week. Euphoric, to finally leave this chapter behind, we contacted the original company and cancelled the refrigerator. What have we learned? We are always going to attempt to shop local even more than we already do. To shop where we can walk in, speak to a human and avoid spending our life on hold listening to bad music.
Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years. He has worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com
