What is…oh, I forgot
Senior Moments
By Charles P. Eberson
My wife and I enjoy watching the long running game show, Jeopardy. It’s not that our evening schedule revolves around the show but if we think about it around the time it is airing, we’ll tune in. I have to say, it is quite humbling. I consider myself relatively well read but if I ever had the slightest glimmer of taking the online Jeopardy test, watching several episodes diminishes my hopes. Even the losing player would soundly trounce me.
As a matter of fact, some of the contestants ring in before I can fully comprehend some of the questions. But what keeps me coming back is that occasionally, I get the correct answer right, even when none of the contestants do. A few dormant Rip Van Winkle synapses stir from their hibernation and the correct answer inexplicably springs forth. My wife’s wonder is only exceeded by my own. Here is the real challenge, though. I can’t seem to access the answers as quick as the contestants; answers I should know. For instance, when the question is something related to what actor won an Academy Award for a specific performance, I say to my wife, “Oh you know who that is! It’s that guy, you know who played in that western, you know where he shoots that other guy.” (BUZZER) Oh, God I knew that one. One couple we play with when visiting them, has the show On Demand so when its Final Jeopardy, they pause it after the question to give us all more time. Over the years, there has been Teen Jeopardy, College Jeopardy and of course the regular Adult Jeopardy.
My suggestion is to have a SENIOR JEOPARDY. There would have to be some changes, though. First of all, there would be no Double Jeopardy or the show would be an hour long. The contestants would have to be sitting since we can’t stand for extended periods of time. There would be more breaks in to go to the bathroom and for snacking to keep our sugar from plummeting. The buzzer would have to be larger as in the one on Family Feud since nerve neuropathy would affect manipulating the buzzer. Response time after hitting the buzzer would have to be extended since the contestants would either forget their answers or the questions. A new much larger game board would have to be constructed due to poorer eyesight by many contestants.
For complete transparency, I did take the online Jeopardy quiz to see if I could advance to the next round. Suffice to say, you won’t be seeing me on any episode in the near or distant future. Not completely because I knew too few answers. I did know some of them but the format was not as they say, “user friendly.” They gave you fifteen seconds to read the question and answer the question. It took me five to eight seconds to read the question and a few seconds to try and recall the right response. The response then had to be typed correctly onto the keyboard which took a few seconds after which you moved the mouse to SUBMIT and left click. Even with the right answers, by the time I finished the steps, the fifteen seconds had lapsed.
I received an email stating my test was received and the results will be forthcoming in a few days. Let’s just say, I’m not exactly checking out plane fares to California. I’ll just be content to blurt out answers from the comfort and privacy of my recliner.
Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years. He has worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com
