By Charles P. Eberson
A Senior’s Observations,
Opinions and Rantings
One good/bad aspect of retirement is having the time to ponder crucial/trivial concepts to the point where my wife has bestowed upon me the title of “The Ruminator.” She gave me a small figurine of “The Thinker” by Rodin for my birthday. I wasn’t quite sure how to take that. The latest example of this is how I feel about handicap practice in some sports.
I was a competitive rower for many years, well, more accurate, a competing rower. In many Fall regattas, Masters have a few seconds deducted from their finishing time based on their age. For instance, in the 50-60 age group, a 60-year-old has more time deducted off of their time than a 51 year old in the spirit of fairness as one’s fitness can potentially decline as the years advance. I was always encouraged each year as I was handicapped a few extra seconds.
What I didn’t factor in was that I was racing against some retired National Team members and former Olympic oarsmen. “Thanks for participating, Charles. “We have some nice parting gifts for you.” In this year’s Head of the Charles Regatta in Boston, the largest two-day rowing event in the world, a Masters’ eight oared shell had three minutes and twenty eight seconds taken off their time because of their ages. The rowers’ ages ranged from seventy-nine to eighty-six years of age. Even with that considerable handicap advantage, they came in last out of thirty-five boats.
First of all, they should have been given additional time deducted because they woke up that day. More time deducted because they remembered what they got up for and finally additional time deducted if they took no rest stops along the racecourse.
Golf also has a handicapping system to theoretically level the playing field as do some horse racing events. With regard to horse racing, a gross oversimplification is if a jockey and his racing tack is too light with regard to the rest of the field, weight can be added to make the race more competitive.
In Masters running, the concept is called “age grading” to also make racing more competitive. Of course, in my world, I see things much more clearly now and they have it all wrong.
In rowing, for instance, 10 seconds should be deducted off your time for every child you have. I believe there is a direct correlation between the number of children and the deterioration of competitive fitness due to lack of sleep. If you are married, another 10 seconds; a widow or widower, you win outright.
With running, there should be weight classes. Some runners are like whippets. I am more of a Clydesdale. I say handicap the lighter runners like they do the horse racing; make them carry an extra forty or fifty pounds and then have them run their race with me. There is a reason you don’t see draught horses in the Kentucky Derby. Stay tuned for more topics that get way more attention than what they deserve.
Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years. He has worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com
