By Julia Train
Going off to college is an exciting, yet nerve-wracking, time in life.
It’s typically the first time someone experiences real life and being an adult away from home. The new college student has to learn a plethora of life lessons, from time management to financial responsibility. It’s a transition that can be difficult for the student and their parents.
School is starting up soon, so parents are getting ready to send their children off to college… some for the first time.
To help those first-timers, here’s some experiences and advice from local mothers who have gone through the process before.
Amy Haye from Mays Landing has two children in college– her son is at Rowan University and her daughter is at Widener University.
“I think the hardest part was the emotional part, realizing they’re not going to be home all the time,” said Haye. “You’re used to the first 18 years where you see them every day. They go away to school and you don’t see them or maybe not even talk to them for a few days at a time.”
Haye said she cried a little bit when they first went away, but it got easier as time went on.
Nicole Cannone from Egg Harbor Township also said that not seeing her children as often was a challenge.
She sent two of her three children away. One daughter went to West Chester University and the other went to the University of Tulsa in Oklahoma.
Cannone said the first child was harder to send away because it was the first time that their family unit was separated.
“It was very impactful on the whole family, especially the younger siblings,” said Cannone. “Sending my second daughter away was hard because I knew I would miss her because it was very far, but I was more confident that the campus would take care of her and our family was kind of used to being separated.”
Cannone said it was easier the second time around in terms of packing, and getting answers to questions about housing, admissions or books, but it was still hard to be separated from her daughters.
She coped by making care packages, writing letters and talking to them on the phone.
While one of Cannones’ daughters went far away, Lesley Hammer from EHT had both of her two children move far.
Her first child went off two years ago to Flagler College in Florida. Her second moved in about a week ago to Ball State University in Indiana.
“Both were last-minute Charlies. So it was a little stressful because I’m not like that. I’m organized and I like to do things in advance,” said Hammer. “I would say it was easier the second time because I knew what to expect, but having only two kids it was hard, too, because now we’re empty nesters.”
Hammer said the hardest part for her was the ride home from dropping her children off. Her husband was crying while she wasn’t, because she teared up throughout her children’s senior years.
Parents don’t know how they’ll react until the time comes. Each handles it differently. It’s difficult to let go, but it’s a part of life that every mother has to endure.
Here’s Some More Advice from the Moms
“Try not to get involved in their decision making. They need to start making their own decisions,” said Haye. “From a parent’s perspective, you want to guide them and give them good advice, which I still do, but I don’t tell them what to do.”
“It’s a rite of passage for these kids. Let them go make decisions and follow their dreams. I learned that being a parent is hard at different stages, but my job isn’t over,” said Hammer. “Even though [they’re adults], we still worry. Parenting is a hard job, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“Take a deep breath, pray a lot and let your kids have their independence. Let them make mistakes and figure out that they don’t have enough money to go out or buy a purse and groceries,” said Cannone. “My advice to the students is send your parents a message once in a while so they know you’re alive.”
“Hold on to the hand of GOD no matter what! Keep the faith and ask all of the questions [you] can think of,” said Aseealah Davis from Mays Landing, who sent two children off to college.
“Instill respect and discipline by example. Take time to have fun, after responsibility and accountability are complete,” said Donna Gennello Broughton from Mullica Township, a single parent who sent her only son away to college.
